Moments of life, My corner, Rants & Ramblings, Words from heart

In the memory of a boy who lost his life while humanity was nowhere to be found


In the memory of Zafir Abdul Majeed, a son, a brother, a friend of countless people, a boy who spread happiness all around. A boy who lost his life just because humanity was nowhere to be found.

I have been sitting for hours staring at the name I have typed above. I have no words to describe what I am feeling at the moment or what I witnessed with my eyes. I still can not believe that the boy I always saw smiling, a boy I know nothing but good things about is no longer among us. I have only a handful of memories of him that keep flashing before my eyes. To the world he was a 16-year-old boy but for some people he meant the entire world. He was the only son of his parents, the only brother of 3 sisters, the oldest one being my very good friend who was that girl who almost 5 years back without knowing me much stayed beside me when my dad collapsed for the first time after his back to back surgeries. I still remember the day even the date, it was Thursday 9th of April 2009 when I entered the class room completely shattered because my father was all alone *without his family* in an ICU, countries away from me, which made me feel so helpless and break me even more. I went straight to sit in the front row avoiding any kind of contact with anyone just to avoid the stream of questions about my father’s condition that could only have made me feel worse and the next thing I know that this girl sitting on my right is throwing her arms around me, tightly hugging me and saying, “He’ll be fine. Me and my family are praying for him. Don’t worry. I am here for you. We all are”. That is exactly when I burst into tears and she wipes them away, puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly once again. She consoles me, make me feel better with her words instantly and yesterday what I did was just sit there and watch her. I just couldn’t find the words to console her, lessen a bit of pain with my words. I go completely blank when I have to console someone and I HATE that about myself.

I can’t even begin explaining what I felt from the moment I entered that house till the moment I left it also what I have been feeling ever since. I feel so in-human for not having words to console my friend who needs support. I just didn’t know what to say to her nor did I know what to do to make her feel better. Her loss is HUGE and completely IRREPLACEABLE.

Me and my friend have had major fights, major issues, way too many differences in 4 years of our BBA keeping that aside I just couldn’t leave her alone. The moment I heard the news I wanted to be there for her because she was always there for me and I care about her a lot. I don’t have the power to bring back my friend’s brother but I do have the power to be there for her, show my support. I do have the power to pray for my friend, her brother and her family. That I shall do till my last breath.

Zafir became another victim of those heartless, inhuman mobile snatchers who weigh human lives with a bullet. To them killing someone is not a big thing. Their hands never shake, they don’t even think for a moment before pulling that trigger. They don’t even give a damn about anything or anyone. They don’t even care if the person at the other end of the gun is a teenager boy who 3 days back, lit a flicker of hope that had to lighten thousands of new hopes in future. A boy who had to become that strong pillar the entire family stood on. We live in the world where humanity is nowhere to be found. It doesn’t even exit in ME because:

  1. I being the person whose heart ache with anyone’s pain just can not find words to write up this blog post.
  2. I don’t even know what I am typing.
  3. Most importantly, once again I failed to console a dear friend of mine who for the first time ever since we both know each other needs me and I am completely helpless.

When for the first time ever I saw him, he was a small boy. A 7th grader. I saw that little kid grow up into a tall teenager. I still remember the day when he was walking beside me and I noticed him taller than me I stopped and looked at him. He turned and asked, “Kya hua?” (What happened?). I smiled and said, “kuch nahi” (Nothing). The very next day I told his sister, “Zafir ki height barh gai hai” and she got so happy and said, “Haan mera bhai bara hogaya hai” (my bother has grown up). We both live at a 5 minutes walking distance, whenever we needed to exchange anything, like notes or books or anything, he was our medium of exchanging/delivering stuff to each other. Whenever he came, he was always smiling. My vivid memory slapped me hard yesterday when I opened our main gate to head to my friend’s house to be there for her. As strange as it may sound but as soon as I opened the gate an image of him standing right in front of the gate smiling that bright smile of his flashed before my eyes. I literally felt he was standing right there.

I know this family for almost 5 years now. I have always seen them so happy, cracking jokes all the time and yesterday they all were like they don’t even know how to smile. Every time I entered that house I felt happy instantly and I smiled and laughed like crazy and yesterday when I entered that house, I can not put what I felt into words. Just 3 days ago they were celebrating his 16th birthday and 3 days later they were mourning on his death. While sitting there I felt so helpless. I couldn’t find any words to say nor did I know what I am supposed to do. Words can lessen their pain to some extent but they can never replace the person they lost. I couldn’t help but keep on praying for his soul to be blessed and for the family to be blessed with patience and courage to bear this huge irreplaceable loss.

When I saw their mother crying, the extra sensitive part of me tried to take control of me and tears appeared in my eyes. I wiped them right away as I didn’t want anyone to see them. But the way she was crying, it was very painful to watch. Anyone could have cried. She lost her only son. Her words still echo in my ears. When I got home, our mutual friends started calling and texting me for more details about the incident. I held myself together but when this really close friend of ours called, I spoke my heart out and I almost cried twice or thrice maybe. I can not help but think about what my friend who lost her only brother would be going through. May Allah give her patience and courage to be strong for her family.

With him died that newly lit flicker of hope that had to lighten up a thousand new hopes. With him died a thousand newly born dreams. With him died that little restored faith in humanity of mine .

Zafir, I may have met you only a couple of times, but kiddo you touched my heart by showing immense respect and kindness. I may not know you that well but I, without a spec of doubt can say you were a son every father, every mother would have wished for. You were a brother every sister would have wanted and you were a friend every person needs to have. May you rest in peace. May you be blessed with a high rank in Jannah. Where ever you are, keep that bright and shiny smile on your face. You will always be alive in our hearts and you’ll always be remembered in a very good and respectable way.

Dear Long Lost Humanity,

While you were nowhere to be found, another mother lost her only son. Sisters lost their only brother. Another father lost all his hope. Once again your enemy succeeded against you in a battle where you weren’t even there to fight it. It is probably mocking you over the fact that you no longer care about the ones who have a part of you in them or the ones who still believe that you exist and you will be restored someday, one day. You never fail to disappoint me. I gave up believing in you long ago because if you cared (read again!) CARED you would have been restored by now and a lot of lives would have been saved. Stop giving people reasons to believe in you because if you can’t do anything then they need to learn to fight their battles on their own. Let them do that. Stop testing everyone’s patience. You have no right to do so.

Sincerely,

Your extremely disappointed ex-believer/seeker.

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