Letters, Moments of life, My corner, Observations, Words from heart

A whole year of you gone


Dear Beloved,

Hoping and praying you are well and happy where ever you are. My heart tells me that you are at a very good place enjoying your afterlife.

Last I wrote to was when it was 6 months of you gone. Today marks a whole year. 12 months, 52 Sundays, 365 days. To be very honest the first two months seemed impossible to even think about living without you. That’s how long it took me to accept your death. Letting go of took 3 months or maybe more but every Sunday for 6 months made me go back to that day that took you away from me. I still fear standing at that place I heard that news. The phone ringing still sucks all my senses to respond and emotions out of me.

After you I truly learned what “Grief” Or “Grieving” was. I mentioned in one of my previous letters that your death made me go through all 5 stages of grief. The strange thing is I was so mad at everyone for forgetting you so fast and so easily and 6 months down the road I too found peace. How? I made myself so engrossed in work that I lost track of time and a lot of people. I turned myself into a machine that only worked, ate and slept *well lets be honest, I did pull off way too many all-nighters*. Anyways, now I know how people are able to forget their loved ones. Even though the whole process is a big mistake; not to mention a huge loss, it still happens.

In my second letter to you I mentioned that I graduated. It happened the very next day of you gone. I still question myself how I pulled it off when I was so lost and numb. The thing bothering me right now is last year I graduated right after you were gone and this year I have my convocation. My eyes will be searching for you. I’ll be craving for that tight hug of yours.

This year passed in a blur. I can’t even begin describing it as I don’t know where to start from. Indeed, with time we all find courage to let go. I found mine after struggling for month but nonetheless I did and in that whole process I learned alot. I still love and miss you. Every time I look at the sky, I feel like you are looking down at me and smiling that full of life smile of yours and I couldn’t resist making a prayer for you. I have so much to say but I won’t say. All I will do is make prayers for you as that’s all I can do. May God bless you, my love.

With loads of love and prayers,

Your little sister,

Bee.

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