Okay I have given good amount of my time to think about putting this up or not since one of my previous post ( The BIGGEST lesson my father’s death taught me) has gotten me much negative responses from some very close people which is why I was holding back from posting anything that may include what people have made me go through. The reason why I held back is that people are of the opinion that since I am in grieving phase (please understand it takes time to get out of it), whatever I say has an impact of the phase. To elaborate it briefly, I can conclude it as that my opinions and words are not to be taken seriously for pain, anger, feelings caused by my loss has deluded/blinded my thoughts.
Not to mention that there have been instances when people have called me a ‘drama queen’, and that I am trying to seek attention and sympathies by using my father’s death. (disgusting, right?). That’s not even that painful but that one instance when someone close to me said that I used my father’s death to ‘ridicule’ them when in reality they didn’t even respect the moment of my father’s death and let go of a chance to prove what a horrible person I am in their eyes, blame games and what not. It only made me far more hurt and I caved in. But Alhamdulilah, Allah blessed me with people who actually understood, talked about it since they have been through it. So here I am writing this post.
In my father’s life people didn’t see how he was a good person or what battles he was fighting. My father’s fight with countless diseases started around 16-17 years back. The moment he died, he was in unbearable pain. Days before he died, he was in extreme pain but never uttered a word. How I know he was in pain was because I knew from 6 months back that he is living with completely damaged lung that could barely supply oxygen to his body. My sister being a medicine student knew far more than me but never said anything because our father was one of the strongest and bravest men we have seen in our lives. Throughout his life all he got was being judged, and hatred from his family and some people he held very dear. Which always left him hurt yet he never stopped caring or being kind. Thankfully his work colleagues and other people saw the true good person he was and cherished his presence in their lives. Now that he is no more, people who never recognized his worth are shedding crocodile tears. Sharing stories how he was an amazing person.
Since people think what I mentioned above, let me talk about someone else. But even before going into it let me share a little background. I am an introvert which makes me very observant about my surroundings and people. So I observe people a lot (just to be clear whatever I observe I don’t judge them or make assumptions based on my observations only.) I try my best to spend as much time I can outside since the absence of my father in my house eats me up and I need to be around people just so I can observe and make myself gain courage to fight. I spend time around people observing them to make myself see that my pain, my loss is a part of life. instead of letting it drown me, I should anchor it and be more strong for my mother and sister. So I see a lot of people daily. It genuinely make me sad how people have become so insensitive that they find no harm in mocking/degrading/defaming/ or bringing someone down.
I have seen people who never utter a word about their battles but people were quick enough to pass painful comments to them. People are quick enough to even say that they would have helped only if they were asked. But those who step up without being asked are very few.
All I wanted to say was every single day we meet several people who are fighting battle(s) within. They might not want the world to know but that doesn’t mean we can’t be kind to them. “A little kindness goes a long way”. Time doesn’t remain same. What if we need help later on? What we saw, shall we reap. Why not do good. So it can be those who you have helped in past or have been kind to who will help you in your bad time. Choose wisely!