Baba Jani, Grief, Letters, Moments of life, Words from heart

An Apology Letter To Baba Jani


Dear Baba Jani,

I hope and pray you are well up there. Tonight is the night you almost left us. You spent the entire night at the hospital where you were almost gone. M, stood by you in all those moments the monitor showed flat lines. You struggled for breath. You wanted to be home with me and mama. But you were forced to stay there. You came home in the morning and I left for work. I shouldn’t have. My boss told me to go home but I stayed. I regret not listening to him. I could have spent some more time with you.

Baba Jani, I don’t know how to say this, I am really sorry for not being there by your side. I wish I was. I am sorry I haven’t been able to take care of mama and M, like you did. I may never be able to but I could at least try my best. I am really sorry I am failing and letting you down. I just can’t understand why nothing bothers me anymore. I am really sorry I have turned into something you’ve always told me not to be like. I couldn’t help it. I am sorry for being a disappoint but believe me I have tried my best, it just didn’t work.

I don’t need to say this but I will still say it for it matter to say certain things out loud. Baba Jani, I love you with all my heart.

Your’s,

Bee.

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